What has this life cost you?
What parts of you perfectly spent?
What is infant free will?
What about the worth of you and me?
If distance was chosen
then what is the harm?
Existing apart, loving where we are.
What if the world makes our choice?
Fleeting time together, a pregnancy
Someone’s nine-month dream
The labor becomes a child’s price to pay
Pure circumstance, maybe for nothing
to be rocked from family to captivity
adopted
where love is a word
whispering mystery
What does a child know?
They may not understand rich or poor
Communicate with sound and squirming
If there is hunger or fear or both
What does an infant task you to answer?
Our very beginnings,
birthed to love and be loved
felt safety, a universal language
all could speak
What reality raised you?
Describe, without explanation…
your home…
Adopted children grow up
Proficient in time and consequence,
cannot be purchased or returned
As I was maturing,
my adoptive parents would ask,
“Is there anything you want to know,
do you want to search?”
I would answer, “No, I am fine”
What if asked, “What do you dream about?”
If we are honest
No one can afford the terms of secrecy
Who bought the rights to my life as a story?
Can my narrative hold both value and honesty?
Tina Brown is an interracial California adoptee from foster care. Writing has been a helpful expression while processing the impacts of relinquishment.
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