In addition to potentially bringing up stories that can be complicated or unnerving for ALA children, not every person has baby pictures available to them. Children who have been relinquished, and have spent time in multiple homes, may not have access to baby pictures. Children who are transracially adopted and living in communities where they are considered a super-minority in their schools are many times put in vulnerable and uncomfortable positions. They often get exposed and are forced to consider personal, private questions about their birth story, or their journey as an ALA person, which dates back to a time that they may have the ability to remember.
In looking for ways to change the system rather than add work and burden to individual families, I offer a template letter below for others to share with their school. This can potentially elicit a critical discussion, in which the following tips could be helpful:
- Remind the school that you are advocating not only for your child but also for any child similar to yours who is currently in the school or will come through in the future.
- Point out the school that everyone benefits when ALA children are considered and taken care of. A caring school climate and culture supports all children and makes non-ALA people more empathic and well-informed about the world and experiences other than just their own or people with similar backgrounds, experiences, and identities to theirs.
- Highlight that this is an access and equity concern. Every activity that the school puts on should be accessible to all participants. If the assignment is to provide a baby picture, then it is inherently not accessible to all children. Suppose one exception is made for a child who doesn’t have baby pictures. In that case, the child is being given a ‘separate but (un)equal’ designation, saying that they can have a comparable experience even though they are having a different experience from their peers. This would be an experience that burdens the child rather than deepens belonging.
It is the design that must change.
Here’s a sample letter parents can use…
Hi there,
I was surprised to see (school) asking for baby pictures of children for high school.
I have learned from working with other (adoptive families or concerned educators — PERSONALIZE THIS FOR YOURSELF) that gathering baby photos is not considered an inclusive practice due to the fact that not every child is fortunate enough to possess these (due to housing or family change, immigration, fire/damage, etc). This can lead to some very uncomfortable situations when children have to present or identify one another’s baby photos informally in hallways, outside of school, or during school activities. A common instance that I’ve witnessed firsthand is a child of color feeling on the spot when white children share their pictures in sort of a guessing game of which baby became which grown kid but the joke is on the child of color who may look and be easily identifiable.
Also, a baby photo where a child is pictured with their birth parent, even though they have been raised in a transracial family, can be another opportunity for (invasive questions and scrutiny.
For other ideas, I have learned that alternate activities which are inclusive include:
- writing, drawing, or providing a photo of a memorable time (without age/time restrictions)
- having your name in bubble letters and filling in each letter with things that matter to you
- an appreciation page to thank those who support you in achieving this milestone
While I understand that the call for baby pictures has already gone out, I hope that the activity can be broadened for this year and redesigned for future years.
Signed,
XXXX
About the Author: To learn more about Max Weinberg, PhD, Belonging Education, and advocating for adopted and looked after children in the education system visit https://www.belonging.education/
Editor’s Note: AKA’s September theme is “Back to School: Resources for Education and Learning.” We will be discussing this topic across our support groups and in this month’s blog. I wanted to start the month off with this essay from Max Weinberg, who is the father to two transracially adopted teens (one of whom just began college–congrats!). Max is an educator with more than 25 years of experience spanning various roles, including teacher, principal, and leadership coach. He advocates for adopted and looked after children within the school system. Max created Belonging (www.belonging.education) as an educational advising practice dedicated to strengthening school belonging for all members of a school community, starting with the children.
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